In this world, there are givers and takers, and then there are people who actually achieve balance in life. I have dated men in all kinds of occupations, from lawyers and surgeons, to construction workers and salesmen, but it's usually the men in public service positions that seem to have the biggest... hearts. Ha ha, did you think I was going to say something else? That's another blog entry entirely, get your mind out of the gutter. Anyway, these men with their big ole hearts are such a blessing to everyone around them, but not always for their wives or girlfriends. I've said this before, that "men do not know each other", it's their woman that gets all of their psychological bullshit to deal with. And most men who have such big hearts, and are such givers, don't know how to give to themselves on a regular basis, so as to be present enough, to obtain a real and fulfilling relationship with a significant other. They give and give, until they are completely empty. Once they are empty from giving everything they have to everyone else, they come home (or don't) and do something selfish to try to fill themselves back up; something that doesn't include or invite their partners, and creates distance and bitterness, and usually involves them either breaking their word, or affecting their physical health. For these men, there are no internal checks and balances. They can't see the fuel gauge that shows them that they are about to run out of gas, until they just run out. This same concept goes for women who have to work full-time and be full-time mothers. It's too much! How do you see when your tank is running on empty when there is so much happening around you that you fail to look down at the gas gauge?
Balance and communication. First you have to recognize your own personal warning signs, in time, that you are wearing down and need to refuel. You are the only person responsible for you. Secondly, you need to tell someone, so that they can take the wheel from you for a while, so that you can rest. If you are lucky enough to have a significant other to tell it to, an understanding partner will appreciate the heads up and be supportive of your "me" time. If they aren't, they maybe they are part of the reason why you're running on empty.