My Prayer

More Comedy

More comedy, less drama!

Cruel

How could you call me up and be so cruel to me, when I adored you so much?

He said "you're not that special, you're not that girl".  What he meant was "you're not my ex, but I'm going to take my anger out on you, like you are her".

You lived in a world of bad boys, but you, my friend, couldn't hide your gentle soul.  Every memory I have of you, you were laughing and smiling.  We were all sun-kissed, beach vagabonds, carefree and wild, and you were one of our treasures at sea.  R.I.P. my friend, we will miss your warmth.

True Colors

 

"The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them."

— Maya Angelou

Fabulous

Be fabulous with me! 

Be enlightened with me...

and we shall take over the world!

(or at least this town)

Free To Be Me

As much as I welcome and adore being with a man that is in charge, I cannot feel smothered.  If my man looks at me from across the room when I'm all dolled up and socializing, and doesn't smile and come up to me with the confidence that he is the one that is going home with me, everything will start to dismantle.  If he tries to snuff out my creativity, my sense of fun and adventure, and general fabulousness, with jealousy and manipulation, it will soon be over.  The best relationships are the one's where we celebrate each other's individuality, not fear it.

The Best Advice

• Have enough maturity to have a mutual level of communication that consistently comes from a place of wanting to understand, not judge. 
• Ask a lot of questions, instead of assuming, and when asked, be honest. 
• Be respectful. 
• Be each other's best friend. 
• "When in doubt, exercise a lot and have as much sex as humanly possible!" (Steve Santagati)

Missing The Love

After the dust has settled - from your last relationship - and you're a free woman or man back out in the dating jungle [and it is a fkn jungle with a lot of ugly monkeys, snakes, and "prickly plants"], you may begin to miss your ex.  But what is it about your ex that you really miss, think about it, chances are they're your ex for some very good reasons.  Was he/ she really that hot?, were they really that good in bed, were they a loving responsible boyfriend/ girlfriend,  and was he /she attentive to your needs?  This question applies to both men and women. If he/ she  wasn't all these things - and more -then maybe what you're really missing isn't them at all, maybe you're really missing the love and being in love.

- Steve Santagati, http://askstevessantagati.typepad.com/ask_steve_santagati/

Fast And Rare Memories

When the chemistry is that good, that awesome, it is possible to make a million little memories in the span of a few weeks. 

My favorites are seeing him standing there inch by inch in my driveway, as the garage door was going up.  The morning we spent in bed and he laid his head on my tummy for what seemed like an hour.  The amazing, drunken kiss in my living room when he was leaving to take his best friend home.  The day we went riding and he tried to fix the helmet for me and then told me that he promised he would get one that worked for me, and he did.  The night we went out on the town, then went to my house and just laid in bed and he said 'I had sooo much fun tonight', and we both knew we were a force to be reckoned with.  When he called me to make sure my doors were locked before I went to bed.  The night at his house that we just talked and talked.  Every time we practiced living in the present together.  That was the night that I truly felt like I might be able to truly have my man know my soul, and me know his, and be my best friend in this crazy old world. 

There is so much more to do, to experience, to know, to feel.

Damn the gods for testing me, to see if I can learn patience and wisdom.  They never let up.  Damn them!

Painful Choices

I believe that true love is wanting for someone,

what they want for themselves.

Drama for Christmas

Last Christmas he had a gun to his head in my house, threatening to kill himself, if I broke up with him. 

I learned that love is dangerous.  I also learned that I should have paid more attention to the differences between the feelings we had for each other.  I should have realized that he was falling in love with me, and me... not so much.  I should have taken that more seriously. 

Ophelia

All I keep hearing in my head, like the crashing of waves, is what you said "If I leave you six months from now, you will survive, you'll be just fine". 

This must be what it feels like to be alone, in a cave by the cold ocean, where the sound is echoed and ampilified until the sounds of the water and the seabirds are all one monotonous, unbearable roar, and one prays for deafness. 

Talk of babies, and abandonment in one breath is too much.  But I'm glad for the truth.  Now I need a life raft before I go insane and drown, like Ophelia.

Who Matters

Best Friends

Brutal Honesty

He is so honest with me that he actually said "...that's the great thing about being with younger women; they haven't experienced anyone good in bed yet, so they think you're a god".  (It's a good thing I wasn't pms-ing!).  And I thought to myself, 'Yes, but if you can get a more experienced woman to think you're a god, then you really might be one'.  That's the difference between maturity and an ego trip.

Faith

Are the gods smiling upon me, or setting me up?

Destiny

I am not afraid to create my Queendom
 
- Jill Scott

Perfect

I asked him why his relationship with a girl that he obviously liked a lot, had ended, and he said "She said that I was too wild for her".  I looked down, smiled and thought, 'well that makes sense then

as to why you might be perfect for me'.

Second Chances

I believe that everyone deserves a second chance to make something right and do better in the future.  But as my momma says, 'you wrong me once, shame on you.  Wrong me again, shame on me'.  I can disappear like a theif in the night, when I want to.  I can have vengence, like Cleopatra over Marc Antony (above).   It would be hard on both of us, but I will never be disrespected by you.  I would rather die of heartache.

Toying With My Sanity

To open myself up again to love, with the kind of men that I'm attracted to,

is most certainly toying with my sanity.

Sandbagging The Heart

What do you do with someone who is scared to show you all of themselves, or all of their life, up front?  To wait until you are invested in them, and fall in love with them, before they will tell you the most difficult things to handle about themselves?  Is it any different than finding out at that inevitable six-month period of being with someone, who they really are underneath all of the pleasantries of infactuation?  I suppose it is that same thing, but magnified, if someone is hiding something that they think you will find so scary, that you'll run for the hills, unless you're in love with them.  But isn't that a selfish manipulation of the heart, and incredibly unfair and cruel to do to someone?  When, and if, is it or could it, be justified?

Just like a dish at my grandmother's house, that has been broken, and put back together with superglue, in my perversity, instead of treating it delicately, I feel the need to slam it against the wall and shatter it into a million pieces.  Such is my heart.

Danger

I am walking through tunnels and the red lights are flashing, the sirens are going off  'Danger - Danger - Do Not Enter', but I keep walking.  I push buttons to see what will happen.  I alertedly look behind me, I look around, but I keep moving forward into the unknown, and maybe into my death, but I push on.  Am I a Masochist, or am I an Adventurer?

Stronger Than Me

He is stronger than me, he can survive the curse of my father.

Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth,
Unapt to toil and trouble in the world,
But that our soft conditions and our hearts
Should well agree with our external parts?

-Shakespeare's, Taming Of The Shrew