The Scent Of A Man

The more I learn about my own gender, the more I realize what mysterious and strange, yet beautifully particular creatures we women are. Dr. Rachel Herz has recently confirmed everything that I've ever said about the importance of a man's scent to a woman, in her article 'The Scent of Sex' http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/3256 . She explains how a man's immune system must be the opposite of ours, for us to be able to fend of "nasty recessive diseases", and to want to breed with him.

According to Dr. Herz, "women actually find how a man smells to be the most important factor in their sexual attraction". That's trumping power and money! Which explains why I've observed that, in the course of a conversation between me and my girlfriends, if one of us talks about a guy and doesn't say "oh my God, he smells soo good", I know that he's not going to be a real keeper. So basically, if a man's immune system doesn't jive with ours, then we will not be attracted to his individual scent. My translation to this would be, if you don't want to bottle his natural scent, then you'll be kicking him out of your bed sooner than later.



As I read this article by Dr. Herz, I was amazed and validated to find out the true biological importance of this part of sexual attraction for women. "In two large studies we conducted to examine how important various physical and social status factors were for men and women when choosing a sexual partner, we discovered that above all other physical characteristics, women ranked a man's scent as the most important feature for determining whether she would be sexually interested in him. How a man smelled was also much more important than any social status factor. And of all physical characteristics women preferred a man to the "better than average" in his body odor than anything else. Women also found men who smelled great due to the fragrance they wore irresistible. In the words of one respondent: "If I'm with a guy who smells really good, nothing else about him seems to matter."



Additionally, if a guys natural scent is wonderful, then when we go out, and he puts a nice cologne over that wonderful, natural scent, it's just that much hotter. And if we are grabbing your pillow to hold and smell after you're gone... it might just be love.

Regret

It seems for me to live this life to the fullest, I have had to make plenty of mistakes and always learn the hard way.  Sometimes, the same lesson, over and over... and then over again.  For men, I have cried, compromised, given, taken, lied, lost goodness and innocence and my mind.  I've hated, loved, and parts of me have completely died.  I've made mistakes that have ripped me apart inside, and that have isolated, betrayed and dissapointed people that I loved, or have just been cruel to people that I liked.  My only consolation has been that I have been punished three-fold for all of it.
Someone told me recently that I seem to be living life with no regrets, and I thought of an old movie called The Last Unicorn, that I used to watch when I was a girl.  A wizard turns the last unicorn into a beautiful young woman to protect her from being hunted, and in this shell of a female body she must face the evils of the world.  At the end she says "I am no longer like the others, for no unicorn was ever born who could regret, but now I do. I regret.".

Thigh High Season

Time to add more shit to our excercise routine again ladies, it's thigh high season! Fall can be especially challenging for us girls. The weather is cooler, it's football season, there's fattening, heavy food everywhere, and yet... we have to get into our thigh highs for Halloween costumes, since Halloween is now the Night Of Wearing Your Fancy Underwear In Public. I swear, I went to a Hugh Hefner Playboy themed party a few years ago, and had more clothes on than what I'm seeing for costumes now. It's easier to wear a bikini, than to strap a tight band around each of your thighs, which might actually create fat where there was none before, strangling each thigh to the point of looking like a piglet trying to escape from a nylon sausage casing. Anyway, here we go, it's fun... even if my ass is hanging out.

Girlfriends & Guys

Sometimes the simple wisdom that I get from my girlfriends is so profound that it makes me laugh and feel sorry for those that don't have this wonderful gift in their lives.  And by "those", I mean men.  Most men do not confide, divulge or dialogue with each other.  Most men's friendships are unspoken bonds of experiences together, rather than honest talking and listening to each other.
My girlfriends and I know about each others pain, joy, families, broken hearts, moments of bliss, happiness, sadness, and inquire about each other's well being just about every day.  A lot of times I joke about being a guy, however, in this aspect of my life, I'm so happy and proud to be a woman.
And of course, when something happens with a guy in our lives, each of us knows about it.  If I ever even contemplate getting serious with a guy, he knows that it's a package deal.  He has to win over my girlfriends first and foremost to really be in 'the club', and not just a passing novelty.
Today, in particular, I confided to my best friend about a guy that has been in and out of my life for a couple of years now, and cannot deal with his emotions in any sort of heathly manner whatsoever.  Somewhere in the time line of his life, he learned that having strong emotions is weak.  I feel sad for him, yet cannot help him in this journey of emotional growth/ maturity that he must go through.  When he recently contacted me to finally tell me something about his feelings, after a year of silence, I felt rather tender towards him, and wanted to help him through his feelings because I've always cared for him.  Then my girlfriend said "Oh Jesus Kelly, I want off of this ride and I want my money back!  He wasn't there for you in your time of emotional need, why should you be there for his?!"  And she is so very right!  As women, our first instinct is to comfort those that we care about, but, for example, as most parents know, this is not always the right thing to do.   It is one of the most difficult challenges that we, as women face, to allow someone we care about, to hurt, and leave them alone.  However, over and over again, I see men do it, so easily, it seems. 
I think that all of our brains are like houses.  Each emotion has a room, and men seem to just be able to walk out of the room and shut the door.  As women, we find ourselves trapped in the room, with the door locked from the outside, not able to get out, until everything in the room is in order first.  In other words, dealing with our emotions first, then going on about our lives secondly, but with new found wisdom of what we have dealt with.  And sometimes, right when we find ourselves able to walk out of that room and leave it behind, a man will just then be reopening the same door, to the same room, in his own house.   

Oktoberfest Is For Lovers

Well, here it is again.  Ah, Oktoberfest.  The weather will break, beer will flow like a river, the girls will serve it and look pretty with their Dirndl's on, tradition will continue and all will be right with the world for a few moments. 

Sons Of Anarchy

Oh Lord and baby Jesus, help me. I can hardly type for the panting. This is bad. I haven't had a Hollywood crush like this since Bo Duke. No, scratch that; since John Sykes from Whitesnake. Anyway, enter the second season of Sons Of Anarchy, and Charlie Hunnam (insert echoing here), my latest obsession. Holy God, after seeing the episode where he comes out of the shower, this man quite possibly has it all, and on top of it, in real life, he's British.