He tried to kill my creativity by controlling and manipulating me. He also discovered that he could get what he wanted out of me without hitting me. He still smashed things and intimidated me so I could see that it would turn into one of those relationships where he would only hit me, probably once or twice a year, just to keep me in line. The rest of the time he could control me by isolation, jealousy, fear, threats, manipulation and lying. I am breaking free now. He did not succeed. I am free to be me and to be with someone who celebrates all that I am. Abusers try to crush your spirit, they try to break you down to where you don't even know yourself anymore. It's all about them, and they will drain you dry and then yell at you for not ever being enough to fulfill their own emptiness.