I have recently learned that sometimes being a nice girl, mean's cutting the cord with a guy that you know is not the "one". Mark Twain once wrote, "There are no grades of vanity, there are only grades of ability in concealing it." How true this is for both sexes. A year ago, I thought only of men's ego's and the desperate and cold actions they take to protect them, and then along came mine. Dating "mean-timers", as Dr. Ian Kerner calls it, has been to fill in the spaces of my life, between the guys that I was crazy about, who broke my heart, that I was trying to get over, while waiting for ther real "one" to come along. All the while robbing myself of much needed time to self-reflect and giving other nice guys, hope that there would some day be something more between us. Telling myself that I was being a nice companion, a "nice" girl, fun and sweet, when really, all I was doing was leading men on, only for both parties to be dissapointed.
The focus lately has been so much on girls getting a clue and to stop fighting the fact that "he's just not that into you", whereas I find that so many of my girlfriends and I, just need to admit that "we're just not that into him either". So why date them? To stave off loneliness? To itch the scratch of needing to get laid to be able to think straight? To make sure, one more time, that I'm not just being too picky, and that I should give him another chance? For me, it's been all of those things, and, that my ego just needed him... to be into me. And if I'm really going to be honest enough with myself to be a good person, this behavior is inflated and mean, and now that I see it for what it is, I don't want to do it anymore. My happiness should not cause others sadness. I'm turning a new leaf, it's time for me to carry joy wherever I go, not false expectations.
Artwork: Monster in the Mirror by Pretty As A Picture at www.deviantart.com