Sex and the City taught us to have sex like men do. Go ahead and get yourself some eye candy on your arm, a boy toy, split the bill on the date and have fun. You use him, you think he’s using you too, and you don’t care and everyone is supposed to be happy. But then, you run into one who looks the part, but his heart gets involved.
David (let's call him David for the sake of this story) was an ex pro football player for the Kansas City Chiefs. He was 6'5" and gorgeous, and I was excited to be able to wear all of my 3" heels on dates with him and still look up into his eyes. I was up front with David the whole two weeks we went out. I told him that all I wanted was to date and have fun and that I could not give him exclusivity. He walked out, then he came back. When he came back he said he would play by my rules, but then he couldn’t after all. And now he is mad and heartbroken. As careful as I was, not contacting him every day, just trying to be sweet, just keeping it on a superficial level, he still got his heart broken apparently. And so the circle continues. A circle of breaking hearts all over this town, the next town, the country and the world. One heart gets broken, and then that heart heals a little, or a lot, and then goes on to break another.
I had no intention of dating David for any length of time for so many reasons. Firstly that he is probably one of the dumbest men I have ever met, much less dated. He had no real set goals when I met him and then of course when he spent two days with me, then he said that I was the ‘kick in the ass’ that he needed to get going on things he wanted to do. And since I am not interested in teaching a forty year old man how to become motivated in life, I quickly realized that this would only be a fling. Now, I told him that I couldn’t/ wouldn’t be exclusive with him, but couldn’t bring myself to be what I thought would be “mean” and tell him he was a big dummy with nothing to show for himself. Now he’s mad and thinks that I sugar coated everything with him and that I am a liar and a deceiver. Hmm. Does that mean that we need to be brutally honest as single women? How much good does it do any of these men when we skate around the real truth, or just completely and suddenly cut off all communication? In my evolving single life I’m wondering at what point I have to give a man that I don’t know or care about the truth that may help him with the next girl. Now, in turning the tables, do I want to hear the brutal truth told to me about how, when, what and why when guy just isn’t that into me? Hmm… pause…. Pause… thinking….. I believe… yes.
David (let's call him David for the sake of this story) was an ex pro football player for the Kansas City Chiefs. He was 6'5" and gorgeous, and I was excited to be able to wear all of my 3" heels on dates with him and still look up into his eyes. I was up front with David the whole two weeks we went out. I told him that all I wanted was to date and have fun and that I could not give him exclusivity. He walked out, then he came back. When he came back he said he would play by my rules, but then he couldn’t after all. And now he is mad and heartbroken. As careful as I was, not contacting him every day, just trying to be sweet, just keeping it on a superficial level, he still got his heart broken apparently. And so the circle continues. A circle of breaking hearts all over this town, the next town, the country and the world. One heart gets broken, and then that heart heals a little, or a lot, and then goes on to break another.
I had no intention of dating David for any length of time for so many reasons. Firstly that he is probably one of the dumbest men I have ever met, much less dated. He had no real set goals when I met him and then of course when he spent two days with me, then he said that I was the ‘kick in the ass’ that he needed to get going on things he wanted to do. And since I am not interested in teaching a forty year old man how to become motivated in life, I quickly realized that this would only be a fling. Now, I told him that I couldn’t/ wouldn’t be exclusive with him, but couldn’t bring myself to be what I thought would be “mean” and tell him he was a big dummy with nothing to show for himself. Now he’s mad and thinks that I sugar coated everything with him and that I am a liar and a deceiver. Hmm. Does that mean that we need to be brutally honest as single women? How much good does it do any of these men when we skate around the real truth, or just completely and suddenly cut off all communication? In my evolving single life I’m wondering at what point I have to give a man that I don’t know or care about the truth that may help him with the next girl. Now, in turning the tables, do I want to hear the brutal truth told to me about how, when, what and why when guy just isn’t that into me? Hmm… pause…. Pause… thinking….. I believe… yes.