As children we use non-verbal language as a way of communication. We have to guess what a child wants, when they cannot speak for themselves. As we grow up, we learn to articulate our feelings, and what we want, some people more than others.
So what do you do, when you find yourself in a relationship with someone who will not, or can not verbally communicate their feelings as an adult? In relationships, it's our responsiblity to communicate to our partner what is going on in our heads, unless of course, you are dating a mind-reader. Lack of verbal communication leads to a lot of destructive assuming. And assuming sabotages true intimacy. Without healthy communication, you can find yourself in a relationship where the other person has one foot out the door, if you don't make the coffee right. The other person might try to convince you that this is a safe place to be, and you can open your heart to them, when in fact, it is not.
Without real communication we lose accountibility for our actions, reverting right back to a child-like or developmentally arrested, way of communicating. And when a man does this, we call them a "man-child". They want to be understood, but refuse to try to understand their partner.
The thing that I find so puzzling, is that men that I have dated, that do this destructive assuming, are very driven and successful in their occupations, where they are forced to communicate thoroughly with all kinds of people. Maybe the key word there is 'forced'. Maybe they feel rebellious and triumphant when they allow themselves to act irresponsibly within their personal relationships, especially with a woman. In other words, the "I don't owe you an explanation" attitude. This is typical "bad boy shit-testing", and it usually works for them on women who are not confident enough to speak up for themselves and say "you are not going to treat me like this". However, the burn is that those women quickly bore bad boys, and they are off to find another woman that is more fiesty, exciting and more of a challenge. In turn, this really sucks for strong women who refuse to be treated as if they don't matter because it can throw, what I call, the Relationship Potential vs. Break-up Reason Ratio off skew. Meaning, a relationship can have incredible potential in every single way except one thing, however that one thing (insert lack of communication here), is a deal breaker, if your partner doesn't care to work on it. Therefore the Relationship Potential vs. Break-up Reason Ratio is around a 90/10. And that my friends, is a huge bummer! It's one thing to be dicked over, which is no fun, but being dicked over for no good reason, well that just sucks.